Adakah anda sedang menahan balik?

Di dalam proses diterjemahkan - cadangan anda dialu-alukan.

Are You Holding Back?
By Colin Smith

Adakah anda sedang menahan balik?

"Through him and for his name's sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith." Romans 1:5

Roma 1:5 Dengan perantaraan-Nya kami menerima kasih karunia dan jabatan rasul untuk menuntun semua bangsa, supaya mereka percaya dan taat kepada nama-Nya.


God calls you to a life of obedience through faith in His Son, Jesus Christ. God calls you to find in Christ what you do not have, to receive from Christ what you cannot offer, to accomplish through Christ what you cannot do.

Allah memanggil anda ke suatu kehidupan yang taat melalui iman dalam PutraNya, Tuhan Yesus. Allah memanggil anda untuk memperolehi dalam Tuhan Yesus apa yang anda tidak miliki, untuk menerima dari Tuhan Yesus apa yang anda tidak mampu menawarkan, untuk mencapai melalui Tuhan Yesus, apa yang anda tidak mungkin melakukan.


The two enemies of the Gospel

Dua musuh ketat Injil

The Gospel always lives in the presence of two enemies-one is called "legalism," the other is called, "antinomianism." Legalism says, "Obey God's command, so that you may believe His promise." But if you have to clean up your life before you come to Christ, how will anyone ever be able to come?

Injil sering berhadapan dengan dua musuh -- satu dipanggil "legalisme", yang satu lagi digelar "antinomianisme" atau "menentang undang-undang."

Legalisme berkata, "Patuhilah perintah Allah, supaya anda boleh mempercayai janji-janjiNya." Tetapi seandainya anda perlu menyucikan dan menyempurnakan diri sebelum anda datang kepada Tuhan Yesus, siapakah yang boleh datang ke pangkuanNya?


Antinomianism says, "Believe God's promise, so that you can ignore God's command." There will be some in every church who, having made a decision for Christ, live carelessly and sin presumptuously. There are others who, falling many times by the same temptation, are overwhelmed by the sense of their own unworthiness.

Antinomianisme pula berkata, "Percayalah akan janji-janji Allah, supaya anda tidak perlu mematuhinya lagi."


The Gospel says something radically different, "Believe God's promise, so that you may obey His command." The gospel answer to antinomianism is that God calls you to a life of obedience. The gospel answer to legalism is that God calls you to a life of faith.

Namun, Injil yang sejati menyatakan sesuatu yang sangat berbeda, "Percaya akan janji-janji Allah, supaya anda dapat mematuhi perintah-perintahNya." Injil memperbetulkan antinomianisme dengan mengatakan bahwa Allah memanggil anda kepada suatu kehidupan kepatuhan. Injil meresponi legalisme dengan mengatakan yang Allah memanggil anda kepada hidup dalam iman.


Are you holding back because you think you cannot change?
Adakah anda menahan balik kerana anda memikirkan anda tidak mampu berubah?


Come to Christ and you will find you begin to love what you used to hate, and you begin to hate what you used to love. The obedience that is beyond you by nature, is possible for you through a living union with Christ that the Bible calls "faith." Through this bond He will give you new desires, new strength and new life that you did not have before.

Datanglah kepada Tuhan Yesus dan anda akan mulai mencintai apa yang anda dahulu membenci, dan anda akan mulai membenci apa yang dahulunya anda mencintai. Sifat semulajadi kemanusiaan yang tidak memungkinkan anda untuk mematuhi Allah, kini telah dimungkinkan untuk anda melalui suatu kehidupan kesatuan bersama dengan Tuhan Yesus, yang Alkitab menyebutnya sebagai "iman." Melalui kesatuan ini, Dia akan memberikan anda keinginan-keinginan baru, kekuatan baru dan hidup baru yang anda tidak miliki sebelum ini.


Are you holding back because you have problems and wounds?
Adakah anda sedang menahan balik kerana anda ada masalah dan kelukaan?


Stop looking at yourself. You won't find the answer there. God is calling you to a faith in Christ and a life of obedience that flows from His life in you.

Berhenti melihat diri sendiri. Anda tidak akan menjumpai jawapannya di situ. Allah sedang memanggil anda kepada iman dalam Tuhan Yesus dan kepada hidup kepatuhan yang mengalir daripada hidupNya yang di dalam anda.


Are you holding back because you have doubts and questions?
Adakah anda menahan balik kerana anda memiliki keraguan dan persoalan?


Come to Christ with your doubts and questions, "Lord, I believe. Help me overcome my unbelief" (Mark 9:24).

Datanglah kepada Tuhan Yesus dengan keraguan dan persoalan anda, "Aku percaya. Tolonglah aku yang tidak percaya ini!"(Markus 9:24).


Are you holding back because you do not think you need Christ?

Adakah anda menahan balik kerana anda memikirkan yang anda tidak memerlukan Tuhan
Yesus?


Your obedience is far from complete. God commands you to repent and obey the Gospel (1 Peter 4:17).

Kepatuhan anda masih sangat jauh dari sempurna. Allah memerintahkan anda untuk bertaubat dan mematuhi Injil (1 Petrus 4:17)


Are you holding back because your sins are many?

Adakah anda menahan balik kerana dosa anda terlalu banyak?


Look at the cross. The Savior is there for sinners. He is there for you. The blood of Christ has the power to cleanse you from every sin. This Savior is able to take you from a slimy pit and set your feet on the rock (Psalm 40:2). He is able to present you faultless and with great joy in the presence of Almighty God (Jude 1:24). Come to Him and find hope in Him today. Christ calls you to the obedience of faith.

Lihatlah kepada kayu salib. Sang Juruselamat mati di situ untuk orang-orang berdosa. Dia berada di situ untuk anda. Darah Tuhan Yesus memiliki kuasa untuk menyucikan anda dari setiap noda dosa. Dia berupaya untuk mengeluarkan anda dari lubang kebinasaan dan menempatkan kaki anda di atas batu yang kukuh (Mazmur 40:3) Dia berkuasa mempersembahkan anda tanpa bernoda dan dengan penuh kegembiraan di hadapan hadirat Allah (Yudas 24). Datanglah kepada Tuhan Yesus dan temukan harapan di dalam Dia hari ini. Tuhan Yesus memanggil anda kepada kepatuhan dari iman.

Jangan stres sampai mati

Pelajar meninggal dunia sejurus sebelum SPM
Oleh Ibrahim Isa
2010/11/24


LEDANG: Calon Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM), Hazizul Hasah, 17, yang meninggal dunia sejurus sebelum menduduki kertas peperiksaan Bahasa Malaysia 1 di Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Ledang, Tangkak di sini, pagi semalam, disifatkan seorang yang periang dan tabah walaupun mengetahui mempunyai masalah jantung.

Bapanya, Hasah Eunos, 56, berkata tekad arwah anaknya yang tetap mahu ke sekolah untuk belajar dan tidak mahu ketinggalan walaupun mempunyai penyakit jantung kronik cukup membanggakannya.

Hazizul mengalami komplikasi jantung sejak dilahirkan dan sering berulang alik ke Institut Jantung Negara (IJN) di Kuala Lumpur untuk mendapatkan rawatan. Walaupun keadaannya demikian, dia tetap mahu ke sekolah.

Sebagai bapa, sikapnya yang tetap ingin ke sekolah untuk menimba pelajaran walaupun sedar kesihatannya kurang baik dan mukanya boleh berubah kebiruan walaupun hanya berjalan sejauh 50 meter amat membanggakan saya.

Melihat minatnya itu, saya sendiri menghantar arwah setiap pagi ke sekolah sebelum ke kebun getah dan mengambilnya selepas sekolah, katanya ketika ditemui di Kampung Seri Maamor di sini, semalam.

Hazizul mengadu sesak nafas kira-kira jam 7.45 pagi ketika mendengar taklimat mengenai peperiksaan Bahasa Malaysia 1 di dewan sekolah itu.

Pengarah Pelajaran Johor, Markom Giran berkata Hazizul mengadu sukar bernafas kepada pengawas peperiksaan sebelum dibawa keluar dari dewan peperiksaan dan ditempatkan di bilik rehat.

Pihak pentadbiran sekolah menghubungi ambulans, bagaimanapun beliau disahkan meninggal dunia selepas 10 minit pegawai perubatan tiba di sekolah, katanya kepada pemberita selepas melawat calon SPM Sekolah Menengah Pendidikan Khas Vokasional Indahpura di Kulaijaya.

Peperiksaan SPM dan Sijil Tinggi Pelajaran Malaysia bermula semalam.

Hasah berkata, beliau mendapat tahu mengenai kejadian menimpa anaknya ketika berada di kebun getah selepas menghantarnya ke sekolah beberapa minit sebelum itu.

Saya terkejut apabila mendapat panggilan telefon daripada sekolah mengatakan anak saya meninggal dunia, katanya.

Allahyarham yang juga anak lelaki tunggalnya dikebumikan di Tanah Perkuburan Seri Maamor selepas zuhur.

Sementara itu, seorang lagi calon SPM di Kluang meninggal dunia, kelmarin akibat penyakit buah pinggang.

Mohd Fazli Yusop, 17, pelajar Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Belitong, dekat Kluang, meninggal dunia selepas mendapat rawatan dialisis di Hospital Sultanah Aminah di Johor Bahru.

Old injuries were also discovered

Woman slashed to death on her fifth wedding anniversary
By FARIK ZOLKEPLI

farik@thestar.com.my
Wednesday November 24, 2010


JOHOR BARU: A 26-year-old woman was brutally slashed to death on her fifth wedding anniversary.

The main suspect is believed to be her 24-year-old lorry driver husband.

Rohana Hamzah’s body was discovered at her home in Kampung Sungai Tiram here after her husband reported a burglary at about 2pm.

She had slash wounds on her neck as well as old wounds on her left arm.

However, police became suspicious when there were no signs of forced entry at the victim’s house.

Seri Alam OCPD Supt Roslan Zainuddin said police immediately detained the husband as his statement was inconsistent.

“We detained him to assist in the investigations.

“Nothing was missing from the victim’s home,” he said.

He added while there were no reports of domestic violence against the husband, neighbours and family members claimed the victim had been injured by him before.

“A post-mortem showed the victim died due to incisions to the neck from a sharp object.

“Old injuries were also discovered in parts of the victim’s body,” he said, adding the husband has been remanded until Nov 29.

Supt Roslan said the suspect also tested negative for drugs.

Meanwhile, the victim’s younger sister Hajar Hanizah Hamzah, 18, said she called the victim at about 11.50am.

“I heard my sister and her husband arguing.

“When the conversation was cut off, I tried to call again but failed to reach her,” she said, adding that the husband called the family two hours later to tell them the house had been burgled

Delete their Facebook accounts?

N.J. Pastor Tells Church Leaders to Get Off Facebook
Thu, Nov. 18, 2010 Posted: 07:02 AM EDT


A New Jersey pastor is requiring all married church officials to delete their Facebook accounts in the wake of increasing marital troubles in his church.

The Rev. Cedric Miller of Living Word Christian Fellowship Church told The Associated Press that he has been in extended counseling with many couples because of problems posed by Facebook – namely a spouse connecting with an old flame.

"What happens is someone from yesterday surfaces, it leads to conversations and there have been physical meet-ups. The temptation is just too great," he told AP.

Church leaders have until Sunday to permanently sign off Facebook or resign from their positions. Miller also plans to delete his account this weekend.

Miller isn't the only one seeing Christian couples run into trouble because of the popular social networking site.

Texas pastor Kerry Shook of Woodlands Church told The Christian Post earlier this year that he has seen at least one marriage break up over connections made with a past girlfriend or boyfriend on Facebook.

"When you start playing around with that kind of thing, you think it's no big deal. 'They friended me. I'll find out what's going on with them.' [When] you start down that path, you know where that path ends," the megachurch pastor stated then.

At Living Word Christian Fellowship Church, Miller said the misuse of Facebook has posed problems for 20 couples.

Miller plans to warn his entire congregation this weekend about the dangers of Facebook. The mandate to delete one's account, however, won't apply to the congregation.

He told Asbury Park Press that though some may see his action with the church staff as controlling, he's more concerned about saving families and marriages.

Living Word Christian Fellowship Church is more than 20 years old and draws some 1,100 attendees.

Audrey Barrick
Christian Post Reporter

Copyright © 2010 Christianpost.com. All rights reserved.

Tuhanku, selamatkanlah mereka!

17,303 anak luar nikah didaftar 2009

Oleh Mohd Azis Ngah
azis@bharian.com.my
2010/03/21


KUALA LUMPUR: Seramai 17,303 anak luar nikah Melayu atau tidak sah taraf didaftarkan di seluruh negara sepanjang tahun lalu.

Ketua Pengarah Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara (JPN), Datuk Alwi Ibrahim, berkata bilangan itu meningkat 762 kes berbanding tahun sebelumnya. Pada 2008 seramai 16,541 anak luar nikah didaftarkan di JPN manakala pada 2007 seramai 16,100 orang.

Alwi menjelaskan dalam tempoh lima tahun lalu, JPN mencatatkan 74,723 pendaftaran anak luar nikah adalah membabitkan orang Melayu/Islam. Ini tidak termasuk kes buang bayi yang dilaporkan kepada Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat (JKM).

“Sepanjang tempoh ini, 214,033 bayi pelbagai bangsa didaftarkan dengan status anak tidak sah taraf, termasuk kes anak yang tidak berbapa 104,834 orang dan 109,199 orang mengikut Seksyen 13, Akta Pendaftaran Kelahiran dan Kematian 1957 (Akta 299),” katanya kepada Berita Minggu.

Mengikut Seksyen 13, bayi itu dianggap anak yang dilahirkan hasil ikatan perkahwinan tidak teratur atau tidak sah mengikut undang-undang negara.

Ini termasuk anak hasil hubungan luar nikah bagi orang Melayu/Islam atau pernikahan tidak didaftarkan mengikut undang-undang negara. Bayi yang lahir kurang enam bulan dari tarikh pernikahan ibu bapanya juga termasuk dalam status sama.

Bagi anak pasangan bukan Islam, kebanyakan kes merujuk kepada anak dilahirkan sebelum tarikh pendaftaran perkahwinan atau anak yang tidak mempunyai bapa.

Dalam tempoh lima tahun dari 2005 hingga 2009, pendaftaran ‘anak luar nikah’ membabitkan orang Melayu menduduki tempat kedua dengan 74,723 kes, di belakang kaum-kaum lain dengan 91,922 kes, diikuti India (23,696 kes) dan Cina (23,692 kes).

Beliau berkata, bayi tanpa bapa daripada keturunan Melayu/Islam diletakkan nama diikuti ‘bin’ atau ‘binti’ Abdullah atau mana-mana nama pilihan Asma Al-Husna (nama-nama Allah).

“Keputusan itu selaras ketetapan Jawatankuasa Fatwa Kebangsaan dan ia juga selaras format baru sijil kelahiran yang memerlukan nama penuh bayi berserta bin atau binti dipaparkan pada sijil kelahiran.

“Bagaimanapun, hanya maklumat ibu akan dimasukkan dalam sijil kelahiran bayi berkenaan dan nama pada MyKad kanak-kanak itu kekal menggunakan nama dalam sijil kelahiran,” katanya.

Bagi kes bayi pasangan yang berkahwin di luar negara tanpa mendaftar semula di Malaysia, beliau menasihatkan mereka menyelesaikan urusan dengan pihak berkaitan termasuk majlis agama atau mahkamah.

“Jika anak dilahirkan di luar negara, daftar dengan kedutaan dan apabila pulang ke Malaysia, daftar semula dengan JPN.

“Bagi kes yang tidak mendaftar perkahwinan mereka tetapi sudah mempunyai anak, mereka boleh mendaftar terus untuk dapatkan sijil kelahiran tanpa perlu dokumen daripada mahkamah, tetapi nama bapa tidak akan dimasukkan dalam rekod.

“Maklumat itu boleh diganti dengan nama sebenar bapa selepas mendapat pengesahan status perkahwinan,” katanya.

I need peace. I need forgiveness. I need purpose.

Man Without Limbs: I Need God for More than Arms, Legs
Mon, Nov. 08, 2010 Posted: 12:20 PM EDT


A man born without limbs said he needed God for more than arms and legs at the Harvest event in Seattle on Sunday.

Nick Vujicic, a Christian motivational speaker, said he gave his life to Jesus Christ at the age of 15 when he read the story of the blind man and Jesus in John 9. When people asked Jesus why the man was born blind, he said it is for the works of God to be revealed through him.

“He healed the physical body of the blind man (in John 9). But what I said to God is, ‘I don’t know what your plan is, but I trust you. I need you not just for arms and legs, [but] I need peace. I need forgiveness. I need purpose,” said Vujicic, president of the non-profit Life Without Limbs, to Greg Laurie at the Seattle Harvest event.

Vujicic, who was born with no arms or legs, shared his inspiring story to a crowd of 15,000 at the Key Arena in Seattle on Sunday. More than 93,000 people watched the event online and 1,692 accepted the invitation at the end of the night to commit their lives to Jesus.

Over the three days of Seattle Harvest 2010, 39,000 people attended in person, 162,717 watched the webcast, and 4,225 made decisions for Christ.

The Australian born motivational speaker, who has inspired thousands of people worldwide, shared that when God does not grant a person the miracle they prayed for (Vujicic had prayed for his arms and legs to miraculously grow), God can perform another kind of miracle.

“God can still use you to be a miracle for someone else to bring them to the truth and knowledge of Jesus Christ,” he said.

Earlier in the evening, Greg Laurie, lead pastor behind the Harvest Crusades and senior pastor of Harvest Christian Fellowship in Riverside, Calif., addressed the question of why there is suffering in the world. He said humans, in the broad sense, are responsible for the problems we face in the world today. The illnesses, disabilities, and death are all a result of sin, he said.

“The general tendency is to place all the blame for all of the problems and suffering of humanity on the shoulders of God,” said Laurie, who went on to state that everyone is born a sinner. “God gave us the ability to choose and our first parents, Adam and Eve, made the wrong choice in the Garden of Eden,” he said.

Vujicic, who has learned to overcome bitterness over his physical condition, left the crowd with a message on how to be happy. Some people say they are not going to be happy until they get married, have a job, save up money, or have more friends, said the author of the new book Life Without Limits.

But having those things will not necessarily make you happy, he said.

“It’s not about the outside. It is about being complete on the inside,” said Vujicic. “Because I have seen so many people complete on the outside but who don’t know the truth. It is the truth that sets you free and who the son sets free is free indeed.”

The Seattle event was the last Harvest crusade scheduled this year. The next Harvest event will be in Auckland, New Zealand, in June 2011.

Michelle A. Vu
Christian Post Reporter

Air yang tenang jangan disangka tiada buaya

Lelaki kapak ibu di beranda rumah

Oleh Rosli Abdul Jalil
bhnews@bharian.com.my
2010/11/10

Suspek dipercayai penagih dadah ditahan

PEKAN: Seorang ibu mati ditetak di kepala oleh anak lelakinya berusia 23 tahun ketika sedang mengangkat kain jemuran di beranda rumahnya di Felda Chini Timur 1, dekat sini, malam kelmarin.

Dalam kejadian pada jam 10.30 malam, mangsa, Che Wa Isa, 57, ditetak dengan kapak oleh anak lelakinya yang dipercayai penagih dadah.

Akibat tetakan itu, mangsa rebah di depan rumah, manakala suspek terus beredar dari tempat kejadian dengan memegang kapak.

Ketua Polis Daerah Pekan, Superintendan Yahya Othman yang mengesahkan kejadian itu berkata, mangsa disahkan meninggal dunia selepas dibawa ke Klinik Kesihatan berhampiran.

Katanya, polis menahan suspek di sebuah pondok yang terletak 100 meter dari lokasi kejadian, malam kelmarin.

“Kita turut menemui sebilah kapak pemotong sawit yang dipercayai digunakan suspek untuk menetak kepala ibunya.

“Ujian air kencing turut mendapati suspek positif ganja,” katanya di sini, semalam.

Yahya berkata, siasatan awal mendapati suspek dipercayai gemar membaca buku berkaitan makhluk halus dan dikatakan percaya ibunya sudah lama mati dan yang tinggal dalam jasad ibunya hanyalah saka dan santau.

Beliau berkata, ketika kejadian, suami mangsa, Halim Ismail, 58, sedang memberi makan cucunya berusia tiga tahun dalam rumah dan mendengar bunyi seperti benda terjatuh diikuti dengan laungan ‘Allahuakbar’.

“Selepas 10 minit kemudian, suami mangsa keluar ke depan rumah dan terkejut melihat mangsa terbaring dan bajunya dipenuhi darah,” katanya.

“Suspek kini ditahan mengikut Seksyen 302 Kanun Keseksaan bagi membantu siasatan,” katanya sambil memaklumkan laporan bedah siasat turut mengesahkan mangsa meninggal dunia akibat pendarahan teruk pada kepala.

Sementara itu, Halim yang ditemui berkata, beliau sama sekali tidak menyangka kejadian itu kerana menyifatkan anaknya seorang pendiam, baik serta tidak pernah meninggalkan solat.

Malah, katanya, suspek yang juga anak ketiga daripada empat beradik seorang yang rajin dan sering membantunya di kebun sawit.

"Treacherous divorce" and "Disciplinary divorce"

NOT UNDER BONDAGE
Biblical Divorce for Abuse, Adultery and Desertion

Under what circumstances does the Bible permit divorce? May a divorced Christian remarry? Christian teaching on divorce and remarriage has varied widely. Interpretation of the biblical texts on divorce and remarriage has been hotly contested and the debate is still very much alive.

Among those most hurt by the uncertainty and lack of consensus are Christian victims of marital abuse (otherwise known as domestic violence, battering, intimate partner abuse, family violence). Such people often think they must choose between two unpleasant alternatives: endure abuse, or face condemnation by God and church people for disobeying the Bible.

Not Under Bondage, written by a survivor of domestic abuse, explains the scriptural dilemmas of abuse victims carefully examines the scriptures and scholarly research
shows how the Bible sets victims of abuse free from bondage and guilt.

Some conclusions of Not Under Bondage are:
- The Bible distinguishes between "treacherous divorce" and "disciplinary divorce".
- Disciplinary divorce is permitted by the Bible. This applies in cases of abuse, adultery or desertion, where a seriously mistreated spouse divorces a seriously offending spouse.
- Treacherous divorce is condemned by the Bible. It occurs when a spouse obtains divorce for reasons other than abuse, adultery or desertion.
- If the offending partner was sexually immoral, the Bible allows the non-offending partner to remarry.
- If the offending partner abused, deserted or unjustly dismissed the other, and the offender has been judged to be ‘as an unbeliever’, the Bible allows the mistreated partner to remarry .


Introduction

This book explores biblical principles that can direct victims of marital abuse. It seeks to find answers from the whole of God’s Word, recognizing this Word as inspired, without error and fully sufficient to guide us in all matters of life and practice. It has a special focus on divorce for marital abuse but it also discusses divorce and remarriage in cases of unjust dismissal, desertion and sexual immorality. You should find help in this book if you are:

a victim of marital abuse;
a divorcee for a reason other than marital abuse;
a person who wonders whether the Bible allows divorce and remarriage and on what grounds;
a family member, friend or counselor of a Christian divorcee;
a pastor, chaplain or theologian who seeks to give biblical guidance on divorce and remarriage.
If you are reading this book because you are interested in God’s guidance on divorce and remarriage, but are not particularly interested in the domestic abuse aspect, you may wish to skim through the first three chapters, then read more carefully from chapter four.

I am a survivor of an abusive marriage. The concept for this book emerged when my marriage of 10 years finally ended. At that time I needed a book which analyzed and explained the scriptures pertinent to marital abuse, but could not find one that went into sufficient detail. Many scriptures can be applied to domestic abuse: scriptures about suffering, repentance, forgiveness, submission and headship, separation, divorce and remarriage. This book deals only with the scriptures relating to separation, divorce and remarriage.

The subject of separation, divorce and remarriage is a minefield in Christian circles. Opinions vary as to the correct interpretation of the pertinent scriptures. Interpretation has been difficult because community appreciation of the dynamics of marital abuse only began to develop in the last decades of the twentieth century. The community, until recently, was in denial about the issue, just as victims and perpetrators often are. This affected Christians and led to scriptural interpretations that either ignored the possibility of marital abuse, or failed to recognize its peculiar dynamics.1

Another difficulty is that translations of the Bible have sometimes obscured what the original text actually said. For example, Malachi 2:16 has often been translated as if God is declaring “I hate divorce”, whereas it probably does not say that at all. (This will be explored in chapter eight.)

A third difficulty is that we have been reading Jesus’ words through our own cultural grid rather than hearing what they would have meant to his audience. We need to consider how Jesus’ hearers would have understood his teachings. This approach makes it easier to make sense of many of the apparent difficulties in the various divorce texts.

THE SCRIPTURAL PLIGHT OF THE DOMESTIC ABUSE VICTIM

Being a Christian and a victim of abuse produces a spiritual dilemma. Does the Bible command a victim to stay in an appalling marriage, or does it permit separation? If it permits separation, does it permit divorce? Does it also permit remarriage? The committed Christian wants to obey God above all else, and does not dare to divorce without clear biblical permission. Yet Christians interpret the divorce scriptures in a variety of ways. Bewildered and exhausted by the conduct of the other spouse, the victim of abuse has little energy to sift through and evaluate these various interpretations.

In 1992, Christianity Today surveyed its readers’ views on the permissibility of divorce and remarriage.2 The results suggested layers of confusion about what the Bible permits and what it prohibits. This can be the experience of abuse victims who seek pastoral advice about divorce and remarriage.

Peter F. Rutledge in his PhD thesis said: “Research of past teachers of renown reveals what I believe to be a tragic tale of pastoral irresponsibility in their discussions on marital abuse.”3 Rev Al Miles has commented, “In many religious circles, pastors treat divorce far more harshly than they treat wife beating.”4 In a 1986 study of severely abused victims, one in three who turned to clergy said they were instructed that they could not leave the relationship or that it would be sinful to do so, and that divorce was strongly discouraged. They reported they felt trapped by their religion.5 Attitudes among clergy seem to have somewhat improved since the 1980s, with some Christian writers and teachers bringing more balanced views.6

Unfortunately, some writers have had a total blind spot regarding abuse. Carl Laney (The Divorce Myth) is an example. This book only permits divorce when marriage is between people who are close relatives. It rejects the right of divorce, or even separation, for victims of adultery and desertion. This was the only divorce book I read during a four-year period of separation from my husband. As a victim of domestic violence, I was outside Laney’s universe. I reconciled with my husband, the abuse recurred and I separated again.

Other writers appear to contradict themselves. On one hand they claim adultery is the only permissible ground for divorce, but on the other hand they say that if it is the unbeliever’s violence that breaks up a marriage, then the victim is free. The victim of abuse is sorely puzzled by such an approach: how can there be only one permissible ground if there is another ground as well? Some writers emphasize adultery because “it strikes at the heart of marriage”, yet the extreme pain of living under abuse is mentioned only in passing. Many victims find this hurtful.

It also troubles victims when commentators acknowledge violence as a legitimate ground for divorce, but do not acknowledge non-violent methods of abuse. A victim whose abuser is never physically violent, or only rarely so, feels ignored by such an approach. Abuse does not have to be physical to be destructive. The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords (Ps. 55:21). Such unfairly weighted double messages make a survivor of domestic abuse feel hopeless, confused or angry. The victim suffers at the hand of the abuser, who professes love but shows hate, who makes inconsistent and contradictory demands from one day to the next. The victim also suffers inconsistent and contradictory advice from fellow Christians.

Many pastors face the ethical problem of how to handle the pastoral situation of an abused spouse while remaining faithful to the scriptures. Adultery is fairly commonly accepted in Christian circles as a ground for divorce, based on Matthew 19:9. Desertion is also an accepted ground based on 1 Corinthians 7:15, though it is less commonly accepted than adultery. A victim of abuse whose spouse has not committed adultery does not qualify on the ground of desertion as it is commonly understood.7 Abusers rarely desert their partner; they want to stay in the marriage but they also want to retain a position of power, which results in continued abuse.

Some Christian advice has been more responsible, teaching that abuse victims have the right to separate, or the right to divorce. This idea is argued from the scriptures by extending general principles of Christian conduct. For example, the sixth commandment You shall not murder implies you should not remain in a position where you might be killed or hurt by another. Another approach is to argue that both adultery and desertion by an unbeliever violate the heart of the marriage covenant for they strike at the two key aspects of the creation ordinance of marriage: leaving and cleaving, and one flesh. Since the Bible deplores covenant breaking and grants divorce for innocent parties, we can extend this and say that any conduct that utterly repudiates the marriage covenant permits the innocent believer to divorce.8

These solutions establish the principle of divorce for abuse by relying on a general interpretation of the relevant scriptures. Some victims will be freed by such advice. However, many victims of abuse need more because they are troubled by texts that seem to tell them things such as:

marriage is indissoluble, except by death;
adultery is the only ground for divorce, with perhaps the additional ground of desertion;
if you separate you should remain unmarried, or be reconciled to your spouse.
These ideas may help keep a victim penned into an abusive marriage, or, if she decides to divorce, they can produce guilt for years afterwards.9 Such victims need specific verses and explanations so that they can break out of their mental and spiritual entrapment.

This book seeks to demonstrate that Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 7:15 can apply to victims of domestic abuse. Many have thought that this verse only applies to cases where the unbeliever walks out of the marriage, but it also applies when the unbeliever’s sinful conduct so pushes away the believer that the believer flees to protect body or soul. In such cases, even though the believer takes the final act of separation, the separation is caused by the unbeliever’s abusive, dishonest and manipulative conduct. Divorce is permitted in such cases; the victim is not under bondage and is free to remarry. The book explains this in detail and answers questions that some Christians have about this view.

Note to victims: The main text (chapters 1-12) is designed to be read on its own. You don’t need to read any of the endnotes unless you really want to. The endnotes and appendices are aimed at scholars and pastors.

Terlatih Ketidakberdayaan

Why won't my friend just leave her abusive boyfriend?

People who are victims of D.V. Become conditioned to believe that there is nothing they can do to help themselves. There is a term called Learned Helplessness that was studied in the 50's and 60's. Animals placed in chronically abusive situations were unable to escape the violence when a clear alternative (escape route) was provided for them. This is because after a while they gave up hope of ever being able to change their circumstances and were therefore no longer able to see, or have hope in, potential solutions. Research indicates that people in chronically abusive situations become unable to make decisions to save themselves. Even when an escape route is obvious to others, the abuse victim is unable to see it. There is a learned helplessness that develops over time, and it makes the victim feel powerless and unable to act assertively. She stays because she is terrified that he will become more violent if she leaves, that he will try to take the children, that she can't make it on her own. The average woman in a domestically violent situation tries to leave the situation 7 times before they are successful at leaving permanently. Support your friend and help her to regain that feeling of hope and self-worth until she is able to make the break.


Isn't it better to stay in an abusive relationship for the sake of the children?

Children are never benefited by a violent situation. If the situation is verbal violence toward a spouse, and the children are never a part of it and are never effected by it (right), then there may be hope in getting some really serious counseling. Get involved in anger management classes and couples counseling which works towards empowering a positive, loving, relationship. If this is something that both partners are willing to work at, than go for it. Any kind of violence which involves the children either directly or indirectly needs to stop immediately, or the non-abusive parent needs to take the children away from the violent situation ASAP! Children learn how to be adults by modeling their parents, for better or for worse. They learn to become abusive, or they learn to be a punching bag for other abusers throughout their life. Their sense of self worth never develops and they have a suicide rate 10 times higher than children from non-abusive families.

Difikirkan tidak akan terjadi, namun selalu terjadi

Isnin, Mei 10, 2010
Suami pukul isteri lambat masak mi


KENINGAU 9 Mei - Hanya kerana lewat menyiapkan mi segera apabila diarahkan, seorang wanita telah ditumbuk, ditendang dan dipijak oleh suaminya yang berang di rumah pasangan itu di Kampung Kota Ayangan dekat sini kelmarin.

Malah, apa yang lebih menyedihkan, mangsa turut disiram dengan air panas selain pakaiannya dikerat dengan parang oleh suspek sehingga menyebabkan wanita itu berbogel.

Ketua Polis daerah, Deputi Supritendan Zahari Mohamed berkata, suspek yang berusia 38 tahun telah ditahan selepas isterinya membuat laporan polis semalam.

"Dalam laporan yang dibuat mangsa, dia mendakwa suaminya bergegas ke dapur dan menyimbah mi segera yang sedang mendidih ke atas badannya sehingga menyebabkan dadanya melecur. Suspek yang merupakan seorang petani kemudian dikatakan mengejar mangsa yang melarikan diri ke luar rumah dan menarik rambut mangsa selain menumbuk dan memijak mangsa. Tidak cukup dengan itu, mangsa juga mendakwa ditarik naik ke atas rumah sebelum diugut dengan sebilah parang serta pakaian mangsa dikerat sedikit demi sedikit dengan parang," katanya di sini hari ini.

Menurutnya, mangsa yang mengalami kecederaan di bahagian dada, paha dan hampir keseluruhan anggota badan akibat dipijak, kemudian mendapatkan rawatan di Hospital Keningau. Beliau memberitahu, kes ini disiasat di bawah seksyen 324 Kanun Keseksaan.

Irrational jealousy

"Is abuse an acceptable reason for divorce?"

While it seems obvious abuse should be an acceptable reason for divorce, the Bible gives only two reasons in which divorce is permitted:

- the first is in the case of abandonment of a Christian by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15), and
- the second is if one partner is involved in a lifestyle of infidelity (Matthew 5:32).


Although God allows it in these circumstances, He has never been an endorser of divorce. It should be assumed that two Bible-believing Christians will not mutually agree to divorce, but should practice the forgiveness and love that God freely gives us. “'For I hate divorce!' says the Lord, the God of Israel...” (Malachi 2:16).


The Bible is silent on the issue of marital abuse as a reason for divorce, although it is obvious that God despises the mistreatment of wives by their husbands (Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5:25-33).

Abuse should not be tolerated by anyone.
No one should have to live in an abusive environment, whether it involves a family member, friend, employer, caregiver, or stranger.
Physical abuse is against the law, and the authorities should be the first ones contacted if this occurs.


The best way to prevent ending up feeling trapped in an abusive marriage is to get to know a potential spouse before making the commitment to marry.

The signs of being an abuser are manifested in one's personality. These “red flags” are always there, but are often overlooked or even ignored when attraction and infatuation take over.

These signs can include:

irrational jealousy,
the need to be in control,
a quick temper,
cruelty toward animals,
attempts to isolate the other person from his or her friends and family,
drug or alcohol abuse, and
disrespect for their partner's boundaries, privacy, personal space, or moral values.


A wife who is being abused should get herself, and any children, out of the situation immediately and find a new temporary home. There is nothing in the Bible to indicate that separation (not divorce) in this instance would be wrong. Although friends and family will likely tell the woman to immediately file for divorce, God places a much higher value on marriage than the world does.

Once separated, the abuser has the responsibility to reach out for help. First and foremost, he should seek God. “For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks” (Matthew 7:8). No one has more power to heal individuals and relationships than God. He must be the Lord of our lives, the Master of our assets, and the Head of our households.

Both husband and wife must commit themselves to God and then develop a relationship with Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. “And this is the way to have eternal life – to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth” (John 17:3). This should be accompanied by intensive Christian counseling – first individually, then as a couple, and even for the entire family if necessary.

During this time, the wife should let her husband know of her unconditional love and support, and devote herself to much prayer. Although the effort must be made on the part of her husband to make the changes, she should not give up hope if he is at first resistant. However, if he never even takes the first step, she should not consider returning to him until he does.

The abused spouse should not return home until a trained Christian counselor decides that the family will be safe in the same home as the former abuser. Together, the couple should then commit to serving and obeying God. They should spend individual time with God daily, attend a Bible-believing church, begin serving God through a ministry, and get involved in small Bible study groups that fit their needs. “What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun” (2 Corinthians 5:17)!

KDRT : KEKERASAN DALAM RUMAH TANGGA

The cycle of violence in domestic abuse



















Domestic abuse falls into a common pattern, or cycle of violence:

Abuse – Your abusive partner lashes out with aggressive, belittling, or violent behavior. The abuse is a power play designed to show you "who is boss."

Guilt – After abusing you, your partner feels guilt, but not over what he's done. He’s more worried about the possibility of being caught and facing consequences for his abusive behavior.

Excuses – Your abuser rationalizes what he or she has done. The person may come up with a string of excuses or blame you for theabusive behavior—anything to avoid taking responsibility.

"Normal" behavior — The abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time.

Fantasy and planning – Your abuser begins to fantasize about abusing you again. He spends a lot of time thinking about what you’ve done wrong and how he'll make you pay. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.

Set-up – Your abuser sets you up and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing you.

Your abuser’s apologies and loving gestures in between the episodes of abuse can make it difficult to leave. He may make you believe that you are the only person who can help him, that things will be different this time, and that he truly loves you. However, the dangers of staying are very real.


The Full Cycle of Domestic Violence: An Example

A man abuses his partner. After he hits her, he experiences self-directed guilt. He says, "I'm sorry for hurting you." What he does not say is, "Because I might get caught." He then rationalizes his behavior by saying that his partner is having an affair with someone. He tells her "If you weren't such a worthless whore I wouldn't have to hit you." He then acts contrite, reassuring her that he will not hurt her again. He then fantasizes and reflects on past abuse and how he will hurt her again. He plans on telling her to go to the store to get some groceries. What he withholds from her is that she has a certain amount of time to do the shopping. When she is held up in traffic and is a few minutes late, he feels completely justified in assaulting her because "you're having an affair with the store clerk." He has just set her up.

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